Navigating the Feedback Dilemma: Giving Candid Feedback to Our Managers

Giving feedback to our managers

In the dynamic world of business, leadership is a complex and ever-evolving role. As leaders, we often find ourselves in situations where we need to deliver feedback to those in our care. However, there's a common pattern that plagues these interactions: a reluctance to provide specific feedback to our managers. We see this all too frequently, especially among high-level leaders who are expected to thrive independently. In this blog post, we'll explore why this happens and how we can overcome it.

The Feedback Conundrum

Consider this scenario: A high-level leader, just two steps below the CEO, is navigating the challenging waters of leadership. Her manager provides generic praise, assuring her that she's "doing great" and "right where she needs to be." However, when it comes to setting priorities and offering effective guidance, her manager falls short. It's a familiar story in the corporate world, and the consequences can be profound.

The Problem with Vague Requests

Rather than being straightforward about their needs, many leaders opt for vague requests such as, "I need more support" or "I need more clarity." While these requests signal a problem, they lack the precision necessary for effective communication. In reality, these generalized appeals can do more harm than good. They create a gap in understanding, leaving both the leader and their manager in a state of confusion and frustration.

The Power of Specific Feedback

So, what's the solution to this issue? The answer lies in the power of specific feedback. Instead of settling for vague pleas, leaders can seize the opportunity to communicate more precisely. For instance, in a recent meeting, a leader could address their manager with something like this:

"In our last meeting, when I asked for your perspective on priorities, your response was, 'just keep doing what you're doing.' My perception is that I'm not being heard, and I'm experiencing you as dismissive. I feel a tightness in my throat and stomach, and I'm noticing frustration is here. What I truly desire is clear and honest conversations about what I can focus on to make a meaningful impact. I want to discuss my top three priorities right now."

This kind of feedback is direct, transparent, and immensely valuable. It paints a clear picture of the issue at hand and leaves no room for interpretation.

The Impact of Honest Conversations

When leaders provide candid feedback to their managers, something remarkable happens. The air is cleared, tensions are reduced, and a foundation for trust and collaboration is established. Instead of vague pats on the back, leaders receive actionable guidance on what truly matters for the success of their team and the organization as a whole.

Key Takeaways

  1. Avoiding the Feedback Trap: It's essential to resist the temptation to offer vague requests for support or clarity when giving feedback to our managers. This only perpetuates a cycle of frustration and miscommunication.

  2. Embrace Specific Feedback: Leaders can seize opportunities to provide specific feedback, pinpointing the issues at hand and their emotional reactions to them.

  3. Honest Conversations: Encourage open and honest conversations when giving feedback to our managers, which promote trust and collaboration, setting the stage for meaningful progress.

Conclusion

In the ever-evolving landscape of business leadership, fostering honest and precise feedback to our managers is pivotal. We, as leaders, hold the key to creating environments where leaders can thrive. By moving from vague requests to honest conversations, we pave the way for growth, innovation, and lasting success.

It's time to break free from the confines of vague requests when giving feedback to our managers and inspire candid and meaningful dialogues that lead to tangible results. Let's change the way we approach feedback, one conversation at a time, and start humanizing the world of business leadership.

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